Suddenly/What If

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All my heroes are dead

lying asleep in their bed

I wish I had known sooner

the loneliness this earth held

the land beneath my feet

doesn't feel real anymore

the tears I had shed

don't feel enough anymore

the heart that I hold 

inside my palm

I want to twist it and drain it

before the light cracks dawn

suddenly all these smiles

don't feel real or beautiful

suddenly my heart and mind

are venturing down the same road

suddenly this piece of me

is numbing my senses

suddenly this light I see

isn't shinning in my lenses

should I hate the dead

or should I hate the killer

for holding up my expectations

or for flushing them down the trailer

should I laugh in my own face

let my hatred overpower

or should I let my consolation creep

as my tears wet the shower

I know it was a long time coming

but it came too sudden

knocked me down, drained me out

left me cold in the summer

suddenly I'm thinking

what if, what I, what if

suddenly I'm crying 

it's true, it's true, it's true

suddenly the moon 

doesn't appeal to me anymore

suddenly the dawn

starts to scare me home

suddenly the stares

start to feel piercing and sharp

suddenly my own heart

wants to close itself up

suddenly this part of me 

I tried so had to hide

tried so hard to tear

starts to outshine my light

suddenly my fear

becomes my identity

suddenly this burden

fuels my enmity